This is a guest post I did about a year and a half ago for another blogger but never shared it here. I was just going through my drafts and found it and L*O*V*E*D it because I am not having the easiest time right now 8 months pregnant with a 3 year old and a 22 month old so this was REALLY, REALLY refreshing and just what I needed to remember why I LO*V*E being a mama and it's the best thing in the entire world!!!!!!
Reflection is good!!!!
Because it has changed my life in every way I can possibly imagine!!!!
I have two children. Milton is 2 and Ginger is 11 months. They are 13 months apart. I was literally pregnant for 2 years straight. That is a post all unto itself.
Lets start with
I have realized that I have COMPLETELY changed and I mean completely. The moment I laid eyes on my sweet baby boy my whole universe changed, everything inside me changed. Suddenly there was no way I could ever find anything to complain about or be grumpy about. I was over filled with JOY and GRATITUDE. It was amazing. It literally happened in a single instant. The way I acted my entire 30 years of life completely changed in a split second. Now, I find myself updating my facebook status everyday about how grateful I am and ordering T-shirts that say things like "YES!!" and "LOVE IS FREE". I'm just happy, truly happy! I think I drive my husband crazy half the time with my ridiculously happy outlook on everything!!! HA!!!
Having children was a revelation for me. Immediately I thought to myself, "what was I doing my life before I had kids?" For me having children has been the single most important, amazing, life altering experience I've ever had. Suddenly I knew my purpose. I knew what I was always meant to do. I was full. All those unanswered questions about what I should really be doing with my life were answered in an instant. I WAS MEANT TO BE A MOTHER. period.
I feel like my life just only truly began with the birth of my kids. I love it. I love my life. I love that God gave me these beautiful little beings who changed me forever in the best way I can imagine. They gave me the true meaning of my life. They let me experience the true meaning of real joy.
Honestly there isn't that much. For me the bad is having to work full time and that time I have to spend away from children. It literally breaks my heart every single night when I walk out that door for work. If I could, I would be a stay at home mother in an instant. Unfortunately, financially right now it's not possible for us. I am very thankful that my husband stays home with them while they are still young and we do not send them to daycare. VERY GRATEFUL!
When they are sick it's bad. It kills me to see them suffer. I would give both arms and legs to heal my babies pain.
I was a big advocate for natural childbirth for myself and thankfully I was able to have them both 100% drug free. That being said, boy was I in for the shock of my life when I went into full fledged labor. There is no way to possibly explain the intensity of the pain to anyone unless they have gone through it themselves. I was in labor with my son for 17 hours and by the time he was crowning I was SURE I was dying. I was begging the docs to cut me. I laugh about it now but holy moly....all I can say it that is one hell of an experience.
So with my daughter, I started getting really bad anxiety at about 6 months pregnant because of the pain. I knew how bad it was going to hurt but luckily she came out 2 hours and 16 minuets after my first contraction so it was more manageable but still hurt just as bad.
So, the natural birthing process for me was amazing but not as touchy, feely and wonderful as I thought it would be. When my son came out I was so exhausted and in so much pain I could hardly even look at him.
I think because I became a nurse I am used to dealing with much more disgusting things than my kids could ever bring on:)
A few weeks ago they both had the stomach flu at the same time and I have never been so exhausted in all my life. I was literally running to wash all the crib sheets in the house as fast as possible because they both still sleep in a crib and they were projectile vomiting everywhere. ALL OVER ME, THE CARPET, THE CRIBS...EVERYWHERE.
It was definitely ugly!!!!
For me this is mainly the state in which my house and my mind are left on a daily basis. My house literally looks like a bomb went off in it 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
DO I clean?
Of course. In fact CONSTANTLY!!! It is never ending. I am loading dirty dishes in and they are talking them out as I'm doing it. There is no hope in this department so I just have to laugh and I warn every guests that ever comes here about the MESS that children bring.
I laugh when I find a dirty diaper rolled up in my jacket pocket and 4 smashed crackers. I felt like with the first baby I really had it together. I was organized; on top of it and now It's just survival!!!! So there are many comical moments.
Honestly these children have made me the person I have always wanted to be; strived to be.
They are my everything; hands down the most important thing I have ever done and will ever do!!!!