When It Rains, It Pours




And sometimes it actually feels like dumps huge million gallon buckets of freezing cold water all over you!!!! 

Well, I have been barely and I mean barely managing to keep it together over here. It's like everyday is a very, very delicate balancing act that could go completely wrong in a split second.

We've been having pretty hard financial times for quiet a while now but when I stopped working due to a rough pregnancy, things got REALLY hard. 

Some people use the phrase we live "pay check to pay check."
No, not us, we pretty much rub our pennies together and pray we will be able to afford food, gas and electricity that month; bank account is frequently in the negative.

Two months ago our bank account got hacked for about $900.00 dollars. It almost killed us. I pay the mortgage every month but it's two months behind and has been for a LONG time. Anyhow, that was the majority chunk of my mortgage money for that month and usually you will get the money back but it takes 10 days for the dispute to go through. We survived somehow, rubbing our pennies together as usual. We cancelled our debit cards and got new ones and kept on keeping on.

Well, it happened AGAIN! 
This time for $500.00. My husband had deposited just enough money to pay our electric bill the night before as I planned to pat it that next day. Before i could even get around to it, he comes home unexpectedly in the middle of the day and says, "The bank account is overdrawn again" 

WHAT? I haven't even paid the bill yet. 

Mind you it's already almost a month late and we are days from having it shut off. I immediately go to the online account to check and sure enough the same company has hacked us yet again!!!

At this point, I have no words, I'm just in tears trying to keep as calm as possible so my kids don't see me fall to a million pieces right in front of their eyes. 

It's in times like these that I CANNOT loose faith. I have to know that we are going to be okay! No matter what happens, we will survive this!!!!!! 

Immediately, my mind wants to wander down a horrible path of WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US? WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS?

And of course for a few minutes it did but then I got my devotional out, I prayed, I called the bank and began the dispute process, gave the kids lunch and tried to hold it together!

Why am I telling you all this unfortunate situation? 

Because I want you to know that these things that sometimes I think seemingly happen to ONLY US, they happen to everyone!!! In fact as I was writing this I had another reader leave me a message letting me know her water has been off FOR.A.WEEK and she has children!!! LIFE IS HARD!!! And when it's happening to you, it seems like your the only one it ever happens to but that's not true.

It's just another bump in the road of life. My destiny is mapped. I might choose different paths to get there but eventually I will be wherever I was intended to go so I have to trust. I have to have faith that's he's got me because if I don't the battles of this life would eat me alive. I will not let them.

I am not very good as asking for help. This is something I am trying REALLY hard to work on. I would much rather live  a tortured life than simply ask someone for a hand. For some reason I was blessed with the biggest of big pig heads!!! 

Seriously, it's ridiculous how stubborn and pig headed I can be.
Well, I did ask for help yesterday. I was so vulnerable, so weak, so lost, so afraid and I had absolutely no control over that situation. It happened. It was not our fault. It just is what it is sometimes. 

I asked for help. I prayed about it.  I reached out and I got what we needed. I called family, I called friends. Our electricity will not be shut off this month. Our children will sleep in warm beds. 

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE! 

gratitude

Please remember to take good care of yourselves. For the life of me,  this might be the hardest struggle of my life, again, trying to maintain balance but yesterday I did (at least I attempted to). 

I reached out, I was vulnerable,  I admitted our short comings and I got help. 

And today is a new day filled with new possibilities. 

gratitude

Today I would just like to say how grateful I am for each and every one of you who come here, visit me, and make feel like I'm not some crazy lady talking to herself. I'd like to thank God for watching over my family and for all our wonderful supportive family and friends in what continues to be this roller coaster of life. 

I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF IT. 
THE GOOD. THE BAD. THE UGLY.

It has shaped me into who I am and I know I will come out better on the other side having learned great lessons and well if their not that great, I know I learned something!!!! 
Gratitude

Now, onto finishing that chubby heart garland I've been stitching so I can add some cheer to the place!!!!! 

gratitude
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16 comments:

la petite lulu said...

You have such a positive attitude, even in what must be such a trying situation - I really admire that. I'm sorry that things are so tough right now, keep your head held high and keep on praying xo

Robyn Burke said...

Oh, Hanna, I SOOOO can relate. I mean, literally, this is what our life has been like for the last 24 months or more!! Including the checking acct. thing-- only ours was a credit collection agency who garnished our checking acct. not once but twice in the last 9 months!! (and we can't dispute it) we juggle the bills every month and there's just hubby and I-- oh, and one cat. But, yes, this is when I feel my faith rise the strongest, when I reach out to God more and when I feel his presence closer than ever. It makes no sense, yet it makes perfect sense. Gratitude, faith and acceptance go a long ways in helping me maintain focus, hope and joy despite all the storms of life. Blessed by good people in my life, including the blog-world, who give me extra hope and joy. hang in there girlfriend.... we are strong!!

Val said...

You are so amazing and such a strong woman. I'm sorry to hear about this though time. Did you ever think about putting a paypal on your blog? Everyone enjoys your blog so much.

Laura said...

I cannot even imagine what that must be like Hannah. How awful. I just finished having my own little pity party, but like you said, so many other people have it so much worse. Hang in there.

Amy said...

I will be praying for you Hanna!! Keep your head up, your kids are lucky to have such a strong Mama!

Sybil@PeaceitallTogether said...

What a great testimony you have provided here! God will provide, but sometimes we need to ask, seek, knock, etc. Amazing things can happen when we do.

Coveting A Cottage said...

I really admire your honesty and drive to push on, even in hard times. I often have pity parties for one, when I get down over "junk" in life that makes me sad/frustrated. I can always welcome myself back to reality, with the facts that I have my husband (who is also my best friend :))in my life, money to buy food, shelter, etc and that helps me to put things in perspective. I recently saw this quote that spoke to me: "The things you take for granted someone else is praying for." It's so true! I am going to try to make a bigger effort to appreciate all that I do have in life and not focus on what might be missing. Take care of yourself! -Jennifer

Natalie J said...

I'm so sorry Hannah!! I love how you are staying positive even though things are tough. Take one day at a time. I was feeling pretty stressed today, and it helps so much to not think too far in the future. You seem so strong. I will pray that you continue to have the strength you need. Take Care - Natalie

Amanda said...

Thank you for sharing yourself and your struggles so openly. That took courage! I will certainly keep your family in my prayers, and rest assured you are not alone in the paycheck to paycheck situation.

Shannon @Imperfectly Perfect Grace said...

Oh love, thank you for being so willing to open yourself up and share this with us. Your so right that when things like this happen we can think we are the only ones going through it, this is usually what I feel so I very much appreciate you sharing. Im so glad you reached out and others were able to help you out.Asking for help is so hard for me too. Praying for unexpected financial blessings and favor for your family!

CC said...

I'm praying for you and your precious family! And you are not alone. We are right there with you. Just praying that we will be able to pay the next bill that comes in. And God has always been faithful. :) God bless, sweetie! And I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend.

My Traveling Troop said...

Oh dear! That sounds so stressful! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this during a time that should be nothing but bliss! Sending prayers & big hugs yours way! - Kristina

Melanie said...

You will come out smiling at the other end. The only advice I could give is surround yourself with positive people and do things for yourself that you truly enjoy doing. Do not let it break your spirit.
It will all be ok. Trust xo

christina said...

praying for you! having money taken is such a long hard process// so quick to have it gone but then seem to drag their feet giving it back...no?!

Julie Marie said...

girl, trust me. i totally feel you. we are often rubbing pennies together too. my husband is owed several thousand dollars back pay and we have struggled with never really knowing if he is getting a full paycheck. alot of times its on a "what do you absolutely need this week?" basis rather than what he salaries. one thing I always remind myself is that I am still here, God hasnt' left me yet, he has always provided in some way or another...its not always easy, but its a lesson in faith, and i am thankful for that part of it...

Lindsay said...

Praying for you my friend. You will get thru this cause he always provides. You look beautiful. Pregnancy looks good on you. LOVE you!

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